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What financial independence brings in your life?
A few days back I met a doctor she asked me about my job. I told her that I am working in the corporate sector and doing my MBA as well.
She asked me how it is like to travel alone and to manage it while being a woman and living in a patriarchal society. I told her it’s incredible I feel independent, I feel confident. She uttered yes this is of paramount importance to be self-sufficient. Because when you depend financially on your husband or someone, then you have to listen to the people. You have to accept whatever your in-laws tell you. She expressed from her personal experience that when you are financially independent people think before imposing things on you. They don’t give you directions. But they consider you as an equivalent person who should be involved in vital decisions. Otherwise, sometimes you have to face harsh conditions, and you have to because you have no other option.
She told me that how she and her husband have struggled together; both of them are doctors. And now when they are old, they sit and cherish the life they have created together.
The couple inherited a handsome sum of material stuff from their parents, but still, things which they have made together are most dear to them. So, when a woman becomes financially independent, she is equal to her partner in making decisions and in creating a house.
Let’s see how financial independence is crucial for women.
“If there is only one thing in my life that I am proud of, it’s that I’ve never been a kept woman.” -Marilyn Monroe
After this conversation I considered myself blessed that my parents invested in my education instead of my marriage. Because marriage is a part of life, it shouldn’t be the aim.
Financial stability, especially for a woman, is essential because of the society in which we live. If we want ourselves to be recognized, we should be financially stable. Some people think that once a woman starts to earn man starts relying on her salary. That is true if I receive $100 a month I will know how to keep my expenses to $100 but if I earn $200 a month than my expenditure will also increase accordingly. Same as when a woman starts to make money than with salary expenses also increase. So definitely a man will begin to rely on her salary and when she stops working both will face financial issues.
As they previously had more money so now they will take time to learn how to live with small bucks in the pocket. But I want to ask what is wrong if a man relies on your money? Trust me it would be better than you relying solely on him for your desires. If a woman is not doing the job from this fear that my in-laws will start depending on my cash and I have to keep working for the rest of my life if I start it once.
Then, ladies, you are making a terrible deal where the loss is more significant than profit. You don’t want to work hard than be ready for the world directing you. A woman cannot be fully independent if she is not financially stable. It does not include the financial stability she is gaining from her parental house. Because if she does that, then she will keep being dependent on her parents. And if you are getting it from your parents than the demands of your husband will only increase. You will not get the respect and financial stability both at the same time until you are not self-supporting yourself.
“I truly believe that women should be financially independent from their men. And let’s face it, money gives men the power to run the show. It gives men the power to define value. They define what’s sexy. And men define what’s feminine. It’s ridiculous.” –Beyoncé
When I was planning to start my career my father asked me to opt for teaching as a career. According to him, academia is the best career for ladies. The other option he gave me was first to get done with my MBA or MS and then go for a professorship. But I told him that I want to work in the corporate sector. And why we define what is right for ladies. They get an equal education, and they have similar potential to do everything. He said my child don’t think a lot about a career just get educated because after sometimes it will be up to your in-laws whether they will allow you to do it or not. But I told him it won’t be like that ever.
My parents always supported me in my career and my education but how can they leave me on the mercy of someone else? Why we do that? I have seen a lot of my mother’s friends talking about career and marriage. Her friends including my mother pray that may God bless their daughters with so much that they don’t ever be needy and they don’t ever have to work outside. These ladies think that it is very challenging for a woman to do the job and manage home. And according to these gentlewomen women who are needy; work. I know that is not easy but why we create this fear? Why don’t we teach our daughters how to manage their professional and personal life together?
“A woman’s best protection is a little money of her own.” -Clare Boothe Luce
We should teach a daughter how to manage things instead of stopping her from doing them. Most people get their daughters educated so that they can use their education in bad times. Why we wait for the crisis to put our knowledge into use? Why don’t we work hard to prevent any such situation? And why only girls?
We should teach our boys too to manage home and work. It will create a favorable environment for the working woman. We consider it the responsibility of the woman to do domestic work and to raise children. In my opinion, a child does not need only his/her mother. The affection and time of a father are as crucial as a mother. We criticize a woman who leaves her children on the mercy of a maid. Why don’t we criticize their fathers? The environment that is most suitable for the growth of a healthy child is where both father and mother give the child quality time.
Leaving career and staying at home will not help your children until you know how to spend the quality time with your kids. Until and unless you know how to enjoy what they adore, how to do what they do, how to watch what they want to watch. Leaving your professional job won’t help them. I have seen a lot of homemakers who are educated have left their careers for their children but are still ignoring their children. Because these women spend most of their time in managing home and sleeping.
So, the management is the most important thing either you are working or not. Life is not easy, and it is a short journey. So, we should know how to make full use of it in this small time.
“Be a strong woman. So your daughter will have a role model, and your son will know what to look for in a woman when he’s a man.”
Coming back to the topic financial stability makes a woman dauntless. Other than this, people who struggle together become more close to each other. Again that’s my perception and what I have learned from the Doctor’s story. When you struggle together, you cherish the small moments, and when the struggles are different, it is tough for the other person to show empathy toward your work.
The homemaker will think that the man is only sitting in the office and doing nothing. And the man who is working outside will believe that the wife is enjoying at home and is not doing anything which is hard. It doesn’t mean that couples, where the second person is not working, are not close to each other. Maybe their bond is more tenacious, but in such couples mostly the earner is the dominant person in the house. To achieve equality, a similar struggle is very important in our society. The reality is most of the time the battle for a woman is more difficult at the house than for a man at the workplace. But for getting our struggles recognized, we have to be financially independent. Because sometimes the number matters the most to people.
Why are we only capable of doing just one thing? If a person is doing the job, the person refrains himself from the responsibilities of home. He thinks that his only duty is to earn bread, but it is not like that. Divide your responsibilities equally to create a healthy environment for your spouse, kids and yourself.
I have seen women who want to enjoy life and don’t want to work, and I have seen women who love their work like me. Parents should not stop their children or create fear in their mind instead they should teach them how to manage whatever their children want to pursue. Because if you know how to handle you can do wonders.
“We need women who are so strong they can be gentle, so educated they can be humble, so fierce they can be compassionate, so passionate they can be rational, and so disciplined they can be free.” – Kavita Ramdas
In the end, I will say no matter whatever the society tells you. You have to stand strong you have to respect yourself. A while back I met a very senior person in my office who is beyond awesome. He is a middle-aged man, and surprisingly he is a man, and he told me this. He said we kept on fighting that woman is weak and the contention on the witness requirements in Islam is continued. As two female witnesses are required, on the other hand, one male witness is needed to prove any situation.
And we don’t realize that nature has made a woman the creator of life. According to nature woman is the most significant witness of the marvelous wonder which only a woman can bring in this world. Only she can tell whose baby is living inside her, in that case, she is the only witness to prove birth. If God has chosen her for bringing life on this planet, and she remains the only person who has the knowledge to testify a child’s birth. Then how can we consider a woman weak?
A woman is as strong, as intelligent and as capable as his male counterpart. Just believe in yourself earn for yourself and become a powerful girl. Bring financial independence in your life to become independent.
