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We all teach our children at a very young age that one should not say something that is a lie. We catechize that it’s a crummy habit. We all expect this thing from our folks that they will never lie and will say whatever is real. But let me ask an honest question, do we want to hear the truth? Do we want to know what is real? Yes, like you I am also confused, whether lying is an elixir or a venom for our soul? Let’s explore the truth.
I watched the invention of lying a few years back. This movie taught me how essential lying is and how we all are living the life of a hypocrite by believing in lies, telling lies and expecting such honesty from others which can’t exist. We need people to speak the truth. We need our children, to be honest, we need our parents to never lie to us, we need our partners to be forthright, and this goes for all relations.
But are we ready to speak the truth and listen to the truth?
First, ask yourself a question do you have the hardihood to hear the truth? Can you digest the truth your children tell you about their lives? Can you accept what your parents have to say? Do you the audacity to hear to the truth of your partner? The answer is no as we expect others to be truthful, but in reality, we like the image of them created in our minds based on the lies. This is because of the unnatural laws that we have created on what’s good and what’s bad. Everyone wants to be good, that’s our ingrained nature so we all lie and we don’t only do this but we also only listen to the lies because the truth is the forbidden fruit which we don’t want to taste as it will take away our heaven where everyone is an angel.
Humans are forced to lie to fit in the society
To hunt the truth first, we need to know what humans are? Humans are the social animals who need food, shelter, security, companion, care, love and many such things. These are the needs of humans. Other than these humans also need conformity from the members of the society with which they live in a comradeship. A human makes mistakes and lives an inconsistent life, unlike animals who are very much persistent. To conform with society, a human lies after forging mistakes. Making a mistake is natural but what we expect from others is a virtuous life with no erroneousness. We hope an unnatural thing from people. Alas! People need to lie in such a situation because they can’t live a stilted life, but they can lie to live such a life.
I can’t be an Angel, but I can lie and become one.
So, my dear fellows in that case lying is an elixir and not a venom. Some of you must be thinking we have the guts to hear the truth so let’s test it. I will quote the following different scenarios to make you understand how we create lying our elixir.
Can you hear what your children have to tell you?
If your son comes to you and says hey mom/dad I am interested in a girl who is 20 years elder to me or I am a gay will you be able to handle it? I am afraid not. You will show a harsh reaction, and because of that expected reaction, your child will not speak the truth. Trust me how much your children tell you is dependent on how much your children think you can absorb. The things which your children think are unacceptable to you will never be revealed by them. But do you think they will never do it?
The truth may hurt you, but they will explore the taboo the things which are unknown to the children are the fascinating things. Sometimes the craziest fun exists in the matters which are out of bound. There is the mirage of that immense joy which gets associated with the contraband thing because of the curiosity.
Love, relations, friendships breakups are all-natural things. If you don’t get the feeling, then it’s an insane and robotic thing. We want our children to fall in love after the marriage. We consider teenage love an anathema. Although we know, it can happen, but we are not ready to accept that it has happened. In our society it’s somewhat admissible for the boys to fall in love but no how can a girl fall in love?
If you want your children to speak the truth and tell you everything then discuss with them whatever you want them to tell you. The discussion doesn’t mean lecturing. We all tell our thing to our friends because we know they won’t judge us, and they won’t give us a lecture. If you think your friend will lecture you, then you will never share things even with your friends. Let’s consider an example to understand this issue.
If you want your children to tell you whether they are smoking or not, discuss it with them. If I build a scenario that I want to know about my son’s or daughter’s (let me burst your bubble a girl can smoke too. It’s injurious to health not to the character) smoking habit than I will first make him/her comfortable by communicating that smoking is fine it’s like a soda drink which can harm your health and nothing much. Then I will say that you’re allowed to do it here only if you think it’s necessary for you. And afterward if your child smokes in front of you can slowly cure him/her of this habit and if he/she is not smoking then well and good. Do you think it’s a crazy idea? How about not doing it and leaving your child helpless? A child will smoke no matter whatever you do if he/she wants to do. So instead of creating such circumstances where he/she has to do it secretly allow him/her to do it in front of you so that you can help and guide your child. Most probably if you become so open with kids, they lose the curiosity to try the verboten things because they are allowed to do them.
Are your parents telling you the truth?
Parents are the major pillars of the house. Children want their parents to remain together. Do we have the guts to hear that our parents are not happily married and want to split? No, this is a reality we don’t want, and this makes them live a fake life for their children. For children, if they think their parents are not happy together instead of asking them to drag the relation that creates misery we should ask them to leave each other. Be open to the truth instead of the lies.
Is the foundation of our love relationship based on lies?
Marriage a relationship between two people which is sometimes arranged by the family and sometimes it happens to you as love. Let’s start analyzing the lies in this relationship from the very start. If a guy is tying a knot with a girl in an arranged setting or even in love marriage, he would expect his wife to be an educated woman, who is pretty, charming, knows all the skills but should not have any other guy in the past. She should be untouched and unseen beauty.
Let me tell such a hallucinated man honey she is meeting you after almost 20 to 30 years of her life on this planet. If she is normal, she must have had a lot of crushes, must have loved someone, must have the feeling for someone at some moment of her life. But she sees you because she is single why are you expecting her to have an empty heart even when you were not there? I don’t understand what difference does it make if she has one relationship or a thousand relationships in the past. A past is a past which happened. Nobody can change it. Same is with girls who expect their guys to be relationship free, drugs free and pious creatures. If you were not able to love somebody how can you blame some other person for it? Surprisingly, we know ourselves and our demons, but we know the set rules of society too and to conform to these rules we start to lie. We lie to each other before getting married that we have never loved anybody in all these years and we start our relationship with a lie. Because you know what you can lose a 100,000-earning man or a beautiful woman like this so it’s good to lie and do it because nobody will know the past, and we lie because we don’t want to lose the perfect girl/guy because past is past it won’t happen again. But you know what if you lie once then you have to lie for your whole life. But if this lie knot two souls in one thread than how it is a venom it is an elixir isn’t it?
A true relationship is when you can tell each other anything and everything. No secrets and no lies.
After marriage, two people expect honesty from each other. They want honest partners, but do you have the dauntlessness to hear how lousy cook you are? Do you have the backbone to hear that your spouse is sleeping with someone else? Do you have the spunk to hear that your spouse doesn’t love you? Nobody has such fortitude and to protect the relationship the two individuals lie and save their felicity, paradise, their family. In that case, is a lie the elixir or the venom?
If you want to have, an honest life learns to accept the truth. Learn to respect the honesty of a person who is telling you the truth about his/her past instead of sugar coating things with lies and expecting the same. Learn to live a real relationship. Learn to live alone instead of living in a false wonderland if you think that lie is a venom, my dear.
To me lying is both an elixir and a venom. It is an elixir when a person asks me about his/her outlook. Hence as far as compliments are considered, I consider it an elixir. Sometimes I don’t like the thing as much as I say because I want to see the happiness on the other person’s face. I might not like 99 out of 100 outfits I see which people are wearing, but I try to find a good thing about it or honestly speaking sometimes I lie.
Lies are a temporary solution to a permanent problem.
But on the other hand, I consider lying a venom that destroys relationships. I would love to hear brutal truths than lies. Because a lie cannot live long only truth can stay in a long-term that is the power of it. To me, trust is the foundation of anything. For a long-time lie was also an elixir to me, I was also expecting everyone to be pious. I used to like people who pray, are loyal, don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t do drugs and are purely pure according to the standards of our society. It took me a long time to realize that it’s okay if you have done any of such thing in your past or doing it right now. I started to accept these things and such people who made these choices. It was just because of the honesty that I wanted from people. I learned that I need to stop judging people if I want to hear the truth from them and this has helped me to create a better world for myself. Here people are honest and are not ashamed of who they are. But I know this is not a perfect world, so people who lie about other beings, who add their negative energies to my world are not invited here.
“Things come apart so easily when they have been held together with lies.”
Speaking the truth is very easy but accepting what is true is very difficult. Let’s not make it formidable for people anymore. Let’s start accepting each other with our flaws. Let’s create an honest world where people are not guilty to speak the truth. Let’s be honest and celebrate an honest world. Let’s prove that lying is not an elixir but a venom.
