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“Love people and use things” is a profound concept. Surprisingly we all know that we should do it but what most of us practice is in contradiction with this concept.
Who are the people?
Humans are the social animals. Humans have needs, desires, and wants. Nobody knows the reason for our existence. Still, everyone tries to comprehend it with their knowledge. And different people have diverse beliefs. Although the reason for our existence believed by us might differ because we all are practicing different beliefs based on the religion we follow or the values we have. But one thing is common in all religions. All religions preach to be kind to other beings, and this is considered as a universal trait of a good character. As it is the most crucial thing that helps us in our survival on Earth. Some people even accept it to be the reason for our existence.
What are the things?
Now if we talk about things, these are the stuff that we need for our survival on this planet. But even if we are not very good to them, it’s okay because they have no feelings and emotions. And things are replaceable.
Like if I am bad with my coffee mug, I am using it only to have coffee and when its old I throw it away. It’s okay because that’s a thing. But if I am using a person for my interests and when I don’t want anything from him I leave him, then it’s not fine, because humans do have feelings. They can get hurt; they can get lost. The life of a human is very precious once gone can’t be brought back. They cannot be replaced, like things. Thus, we can’t use them for our selfish means. That is what’s universally accepted regarding the things and people.
Contradiction in our values and practice
Now, this was something we all know right!
You must be wondering what’s new in this? Everyone knows people are more important as compared to things who doesn’t? But if we all take a moment and ponder about ourselves and our behavior, we will realize we only know it, but we don’t follow it. Like if your dream is to buy a very expensive sofa for your living room. Or I would say that it is not even your dream, you just purchased a sofa for your living room. And assume you have children in your house who want to have fun on that sofa. They want to jump on that sofa; they have an artistic nature and want to paint that sofa. Will you allow it? No, not at all that’s a new sofa dude how can we let someone ruin it right! But you know what you did by saying no to those small artists.
You have planted the seed of more love for the Sofa that was a material thing as compare to promoting their creativity that was a human skill. I know you all must be confused by now that what bullshit I am talking.
What does “love people and use things” mean?
But to make this vague idea clear to you let me write about the person from whom I have learned it. He has inspired me to write this blog. Dr. Randy Pausch. He was an American Computer Science professor. He had pancreatic cancer. In his last lecture at the Oprah Winfrey show, he beautifully described the importance of people versus things.
He explained how his parents made him learn this incredible principle by just letting him paint his room walls. They allowed him to paint whatever he feels like without thinking about the interior of the room that was possibly ruined by the small artist. But they preferred his creativity over the room’s interior. And this made him love humans instead of things.
The person who love people and use things
Dr. Randy quoted an incident about his first brand new car. When he bought it, he took his niece and nephew for the ride. They were advised by their mother not to mess with the car or do anything nasty inside it because it is a brand-new car. But while they were receiving a lecture from their mommy, Dr. Randy was emptying the can of soda at the back seat of his car. It made the kids learn that it is only a thing and things are not that important. At the end of the weekend when Dr.Randy was driving them back home, his little nephew had the flu and he threw up all over at the back seat of his car.
Dr. Randy described how he was happier to make the 8-year-old not to feel guilty for his flu instead of having a nice perfect car. After explaining this incident, I would better say a person who gives importance to people and who love people and use things is like him. Now Analyze yourself what do you believe, and practice?
How we made our children learn the love for material things?
If I talk about a lot of parents in my country, I have observed that they chastise their children when they break toys. They made them learn a lesson if they do it. But have you ever thought what are you inculcating in your children without even knowing? You are teaching them to love money; you are teaching them to love things. It can evacuate the love of people from their hearts because love for things will now reside inside their hearts. After listening to Dr. Randy’s lecture, I have deduced how ignorantly we pass such material values to our next generation without even knowing.
How to make your children learn the concept of love people and use things?
We preach the right things to our younger ones but in practice, we show them a different behavior, and when our children grow old we wonder why they love material things more than us. Let your children break the toys and help them to repair it instead of rebuking them and making them feel guilty about it. Because the toys are not as indispensable as compare to the fun they had while playing with it without the agitation of getting it broken. Don’t make your children love things more than people. The point is not to make them ill-mannered and promote slovenliness in their behavior. What I am trying to portray is let them grow without developing the fear of destroying things.
Make them learn the value of using things not loving them. Because it’s not possible to have a love of things and people to co-exist in your heart. You have to set priorities in life. What are you prioritizing defines you. Telling your children verbally about things is not enough. You have to show practical examples.
Do you love people and use things?
Now if we talk about ourselves. What is our heart’s status? Do we prefer material things over human beings? Analyze yourself!
What do you feel when your best friend returns you a dress which she has borrowed, and it got ripped after she wore it. I know everyone feels terrible when they lose their things, but you should not feel that bad that you ruin your relationship with your loved ones. Things are to please you, please instead of loving them use them. If they get lost, you can get them back again, but if a person is lost, you cannot get that person back. Don’t just know the importance of this phrase love people and use things, have faith in it and practice it. It will make you a better person.
