My life has been a fantastic journey that has just started as I am in my early 20s. But I have covered a considerable distance to came this far. It began on 8th of the 8th month at 8 pm when a baby girl was born to a couple who were already parents to a two years old daughter. The elder one was too young to accept another sibling. When she started became used to of sharing her parents with a younger baby, another sibling was born this time a baby boy. The middle one has to adjust, and that’s what I did. In the journey of fitting in the family, adapting to the culture and tuning in the society I have learned how to set myself free.
I stopped being hard on myself
The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection ~ George Orwell
As a child, I faced a lot of difficulty in remembering the spelling of things. I was a hopeless case when it comes to reading. When someone asks me to read something, there was a lot of a and ums. I have to put an enormous amount of efforts to bring good grades. With time the problems became different and hard work increased.
It took me 20 years to understand that its okay to be goofy, its okay to be yourself. I was putting a lot of hard work into things in which I was not good. Now I have realized my interests. I have recognized the fact that putting your energy in the right direction will help you achieve something in life. You might not be good at a few things, but you can’t be bad at everything.
I have become loyal to myself
I used to do things that please people and compromised my self-interests for the interest of others.
As my parents and my society implanted in my veins what is right for the society and what is quintessential in the community. But lately I have realized that it is permitted to deny something you don’t want to do, its allowed to speak for yourself and it’s perfectly fine to love yourself. I still do the right things, I still do good for people, but now I am more loyal to myself. I don’t lie to myself if I don’t like something I don’t like it that’s it. Its fine to not love everything. If I don’t feel like doing something I don’t do it for anyone or any compensation.
But whatever I do, I do it with my full heart. If I help someone, I do it selflessly without expecting anything. If I don’t want to help someone, I don’t. I think its okay to refuse than doing it and hoping to gain future favors. Being loyal to myself has turned me more honest with others.
I have stopped gaining sympathies
In the past, I might have gained sympathies for health issues or my strict routine, etc. But now I hate sympathies I don’t discuss my concerns with every other person.
I try to solve my problems myself, and this has set myself free from the chaos that gets created when a crowd of people tries to resolve things for you. It ends with you being the center of attention, or you turn into a person about whom the gossip of the month will be made. I have stopped making myself vulnerable to others.
I have turned more positive
In the past, I was unsure about my abilities, my physical self, my potentials, my skills but now I am not. I have cleared most of my self-doubts. I know myself, I have become more positive about myself, and this has made me more positive about others. It has made me accept people who are non-identical. I have begun acknowledging people who have dissimilar, beliefs, culture and values. When you come in peace with yourself, you come in harmony with the universe. You become more empathetic, compassionate and grateful.
When you have self-doubts people intimidate you, they affect your behavior, thinking, and your actions. I know it because I have lived it. When I was not sure about myself whatever someone tells me about me was affecting me. When someone says terrible about me, it used to hurt me. Because I was not sure what I am, I used to do things that weren’t synchronizing with my personality but to get the confirmation I use to do that. But faking doesn’t help anything.
I have started loving me born me
I was born in a society where wishes were made only for the boy child, where men were considered as the head of the family and where decision power was in the hand of the males. My birth was in an era where restrictions were only for the girls, where society declare the girls as weak beings, where girls were considered species that came into this world for bringing up children and for doing household chores. I have never questioned what I was taught until someone told me its okay to raise the questions and you can challenge anything.
Then I realized I am not weak; I am not only suitable only for the domestic work, but a girl like me can do marvelous things in life; I came to know that I have every right to live my life like my fellow men and I deserve equality. It has changed the world for me. I started loving my gender I started enjoying myself. It has set myself free from the inculcated male-dominant rule that I had grasped over the years from the people of my community.
I began to invest in myself
I was a Leo born, someone who loves to be surrounded by people. After I learned all the above things, I started spending my time and money on myself; I started reading booking, watching good movies and meeting knowledgeable people.
My harmony now lies within myself and my loved ones. I began to enjoy my alone time, unlike a Leo person nature. Being alone used to make me sad, but now it provides me the opportunity to practice the mindfulness, to be grateful for such an incredible life and to invest in myself.
I have become me after I set myself free
Now I don’t fake myself in front of anybody. I stand for who I am, what my thoughts are and what I want. I don’t crave compliments now because I praise myself for being me. It has made me free from stress; I am free from fakeness, and I am free from fear of isolation because I have set myself free.