Body Shaming

Somewhere between size zero and plus size, we forget we are all beautiful. there is no size, and no measure for the beauty one beholds. ~ Ruchi Baid

All human beings are born with different bodies. It is the tangible part of our self. We all have different, hair, nails, toes, etc. We all are unique individuals. I have never seen two people who have a precisely same body even if they are twins there is some particular characteristic that distinguishes the two. What a perfect body is?

I am sure everybody has a different answer for it. Like my grandmother likes people who are a little bit fat, and my mom finds such people attractive who are tall and slim. To me, the body is like a box of a gift whose size doesn’t matter, but the gift which is inside it matters, and that gift is the soul. The wrapping on it is our clothes. They should be clean, but it can be anything depending on the environment where you’re present. I have seen people giving so much importance to the size of the box, and it’s wrapping that they completely forget about the gift. And when people become miserably conscious about the box, it’s size and color than the body shaming starts.

“No one has the right to demand that your body be something other than what it is.”
― Agnostic Zetetic

I always was a slim individual because that’s in my genes. I was diagnosed with PCOs when I was in my 9th grade. So, when I was on medication, I started losing my weight. I became skinny. My weight was dropped from 50 to 45. The medicines had their side-effects like constant headaches, lousy mood, weight loss, and appetite loss. But the thing that was bothering me the most was not those side-effects but the people around me who were always telling me oh you’re so thin. Girls don’t look pretty like this you should have fats in particular areas. Everyone was telling me to gain weight, and that I am so unattractive, that was a hard time. You get affected by such comments.

I started force feeding which was a pathetic idea, but I did that because I was conscious of my body. And that was because of my peers, family everybody. After a year I left the medicine, and my weight started to get normal. Time made me realize it’s not about the body. Life is not about it. It’s just the box which shouldn’t matter in life. It should be healthy to protect the gift, but other things don’t matter. After so many years now I am so strong that whatever people think about my figure doesn’t bother me because in my head I am the prettiest woman alive. I love me, love every bit of me. I have everything so amazing that I can’t dream of a better Iqra.

My story of being body shamed was almost forgotten by me. But yesterday an incident happened that made me realize that I am not the only victim there are a lot of people in this world who are facing such issues.

Girls don’t just simply decide to hate their bodies we teach them to

In my dining area, I was getting my food, and I saw a colleague of mine who was filling her plate. Since I was observing her for a few days I know she eats a lot. I was sure based on my experience that she is forcefully eating food. Because she is skinny and if she was thin after doing dieting than she must be eating less and usually people who are very lean don’t have a huge appetite.

So I knew the issue, and I wanted to help her because there was nobody to help me. I can understand how it is like to be helpless. I already knew the answer still I asked her that you have a good appetite and yet you are so thin that is a perfect thing. She said no, I don’t want to be thin. I want to gain some weight, and I was waiting for this answer. I said but why? You already are so perfect. She said again something that I was expecting that no you know I need to gain some weight on particular areas that is attractive right. I said not necessarily the definition of beautiful is different for every individual. Like I have a friend who likes petite girls, and he is attracted to them.

I told her that you know you are so beautiful you should love yourself and then expect others to love you. Then she told me how conscious she is about eating in public because she doesn’t like people watching her while eating. And this has affected her social life because she can’t go out and eat with her friends. I told her you could change it just think that nobody is existing while you’re eating. When she started to become comfortable with me, she told me other things too like her favorite product is a concealer. She has a lot of them because she is conscious of her dark circles. She told me how she has even spent a lot of money on removing the dark circles permanently, but she is not successful.

I was feeling terrible when I was listening to her stories. I have seen people in my office mocking her for overeating while having a thin physique. And for wearing too much makeup. But nobody knows her struggle. She must be doing it to be liked by people. That’s what we all want in life right?

“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.”
― Amy Bloom

I was trying to communicate her how beautiful she is even if she wears no makeup and with the body she has. Because I know some fat people, who dream such a figure. Why we don’t tell such people how beautiful they are the way they are. Why we mock them and make life more abominable for them. You might joke about someone’s appearance which can become a source of depression for that person. And it affects people I know because I was once a victim. Who decides what’s a perfect height, color, size, hair? There is no standard of beauty in this world. Why we bully people on matters on which they have no control. If you don’t like someone’s physical appearance that is your issue, not that person’s. The person doesn’t want to know your opinion trust me he/she don’t.

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.”
― Steve Maraboli

I met another person in my office she told me that she wanted to go to the gym and finally, her father allowed her. He said I want to see you married. Join the gym be thin and get married. I felt so wrong what the criteria she has set in her mind of getting married. That’s not her mistake that is what society must be telling her that you know you are fat that’s why you’re not getting married. Why are we so insensitive about each other?

I want to communicate this to all humans you all are beautiful just the way you are. Because there is nobody in this world who is fat like you, thin like you, has hair like you. You are unique that’s why you are beautiful. I believe in this, and this made me think that I am the prettiest. Now other people opinions don’t matter to me.

“By choosing healthy over skinny, you are choosing self-love over self-judgment. You are beautiful!”
― Steve Maraboli

I also want to tell this to all humans; please appreciate each other’s uniqueness. Saying bad things about someone’s, height, color, hair, body, etc. is an immoral thing. It is not a joke trust me it is not funny. Your body is shit hahahahaha Wao! was that funny? It is not amusing for any sane human. Everyone is struggling in life don’t make these struggles difficult for anyone. Please don’t! Nobody needs to know what your eyes see in them. Someone told me that you see with your soul not just with eyes. Blind people also find other humans beautiful. Because even the blinds have a soul. Whatever your soul sees in other doesn’t tell about them, but it shows a lot about you.

You are a human being, not a human body. ~ Kate Wicker

I asked this question from many people. Have you ever being subjected to body shaming? The answers which I got were astonishing. Almost every single person to whom I asked this question was a victim of body shaming. I was feeling so miserable like what are we doing with other people. We are tormenting people and making them conscious of their bodies. Body shaming can occur inside your house outside your home anywhere. We have to consider it an issue to solve this problem. Every human is exquisite if we start to shift our focus from the box to the inside gift that is the soul.

“A fit, healthy body—that is the best fashion statement.” ~ Jess C Scott

So, love yourself don’t let anybody affect you, your body, your thoughts, your actions anything. When something is bothering, you should think that thing is not existing in this world. Look pretty, be healthy, wear whatever you want to wear but for yourself not for others. I love myself, and I love all of you because I don’t want my box to be perfect, I want my gift to be the best one. Spread the love, stop body shaming because the world needs its tumble. If someone is body shaming you, please feel free to discuss your issue with me on the contact details given below I will love to help you.